No Longer Myself

by Andrian Michael Tan

As bright as my dreams are made
The light I created just fade
Cause I'm complete but not that whole
When someone peep inside my nest

I heard footsteps rushing to where I am
The door was broken twas so strong it brought harm
Can't see clearly, bruised on the eye
But I surely will still keep my smile

My hair was not long but her grip was strong
Pulled me like a sack like I did something wrong
As we reached the destination, I saw a tin can
Heat and intensity, I should have left but I can't

As she pulled me through I saw what's inside
A water to dissolve all the things that I hide
"Boy or girl" she shouted as I swim
"Boy" I said, I screamed

The hot steam of water touched my skin
I wanna swim again, protect myself from this scheme
I was saved by saying what she wanted
But the little man inside me died, ashamed

Guilty at heart, guilty at court
I am just like her, coaching a sport
Do what is right, what is best
What about what I feel? Stop, rejects

I am a monster born from another
Killed by a monster somewhere from the past
A hole in my heart was removed
I don't know why I'm breathing, I don't know why I move

Shee killed my true self, and I am like her
Slammed, stabbed, drowned in a whim
She left my life and now I've grown
I killed my true self, now I'm unknown